Call a San Diego Divorce & Family Law Attorney at: 858-222-6600 Text An Attorney

What are boundaries, and how do you set them?

Posted By:
May 8, 2019

Blog

What are boundaries, and how do you set them?

Healthy relationships in California require consistent, firm and enforceable boundaries between you and others. This applies to relationships among friends, family members and particularly between romantic partners. Prolonged, persistent violation of your boundaries can escalate into abusive behavior. Understanding what boundaries are can help you to become more effective in setting them and more assertive in enforcing them.

According to Psychology Today, boundaries fall within at least six different categories. Physical boundaries refer to your body, your privacy and your personal space. Sexual boundaries relate to personal boundaries but pertain specifically to your comfort level with sexual touch and related activity. Material boundaries affect your tangible possessions, specifically who (apart from you) has permission to use them and under what circumstances.

Some people have the most trouble in setting and enforcing mental and emotional boundaries. People who are highly impressionable have poor mental boundaries because they have difficulty distinguishing their own thoughts and beliefs from those of others. Likewise, people who accept responsibility or blame for other people’s emotional states have insufficient emotional boundaries.

When it comes to enforcing your boundaries, you have certain rights that include the following:

  • Privacy
  • Conservation of energy
  • Respectful and courteous treatment from others

If someone makes unreasonable demands of you, you have the right to say no. More significantly, you have a right to refuse when the request is reasonable but you are unable or unwilling to comply.

Be aware, however, that the rights you have apply equally to everyone. For example, you have the right to ask for help when you need it, but the person you are asking has the right to say no.

You also need to understand that boundaries are protection for you, not punishment for others. Nagging or threatening others to behave a certain way is not effective boundary-setting and, in fact, may violate the boundaries of others.

Comments are closed.

I’ve been working with Paul Ryan on a difficult case for over a year and he has been a God-send. He is smart, personable, very down to earth and a fighter. I had two terrible experiences previously with different SD firms, and hiring Paul has been a welcome breath of fresh air. I would highly recommend Paul, especially for active duty military and veterans.

Charles
Read Our Reviews

Three Convenient Locations For Your Service

We strive to make our clients’ family law cases as stress-free as possible. Mr. Ryan is an accomplished family law attorney who can meet at an office near you. He will handle the challenges of your legal matter while you focus on taking care of your family. You can schedule your free consultation any of our three San Diego offices by calling us now.

Ryan Family Law

Three Convenient, Inviting Office Locations In San Diego County
La Jolla 4225 Executive Square
Suite 600
La Jolla, CA 92037
858-222-6600
North County 2173 Salk Avenue
Suite 250
Carlsbad, CA 92008
760-259-0800
North County Office La Jolla Office Mission Valley Office HQ

Send Us Your Case Details

Contact Us
I read the disclaimer etc. *