Moving on after your divorce
Ending your marriage is not easy. It is an emotional process. Even after your sign your California divorce papers, you may not have fully let go of the relationship. This is completely normal, and you should not force yourself to feel something you do not naturally feel. Getting over the emotions you feel often requires a long process.
Money Crashers explains you may go through the five stages of grief as you mourn the loss of the relationship. It can help to become familiar with these stages so you may move through each of them and past the feelings you have about your marriage.
Five stages of grief
The first stage of grief is denial. You may go through this at the beginning of your divorce when it is hard to accept that things are coming to an end. However, you may not reach this stage until the judge declares the divorce final. Whenever you experience it, you need to learn to combat it by accepting the new situation.
Anger is next. Again, you may feel this during the divorce, as well. You may be angry at yourself for not making the relationship work, or you may have anger at your ex-partner for the same reason. You need to recognize the angry feelings and work through them to move on.
Bargaining comes next. This is where you try to cut deals to help yourself feel better. You need to realize that no deal will take you back to where you were before the divorce.
Next is depression. It is essential not to get stuck in this phase, so having a good support system is helpful. You can feel down about what you went through. You can be sad the marriage is over. However, you should not get so down that you cannot function. You may want to talk to a professional at this point to help you move past this stage.
Finally, you have acceptance. This is where you accept that your marriage is over, and the divorce is final. You learn how to cope on your own and move forward with your life. You stop looking back at things and wondering if you could have changed them. You may even start to think back on your marriage with happy thoughts and hold onto the good memories.
Getting back to your old self after a divorce may take time because you need to process everything you feel and all the thoughts you have. It is not always going to be easy, but you can do it.